No shame.

There once was a young family that lived on the edge of town. The couple had three young children and seemed to live a quiet life. The husband worked daily and the wife stayed home with the youngest two children.   The children loved swinging on the swings in the backyard as it was a daily favorite.  However, sometimes the quiet was too quiet, not enough communication to be healthy and one day things changed.  For days, only a few sips of soup could sustain the wife.  She was now on her own. It seemed all that had held her together had been shattered. She had questions, unpaid bills, no job, 3 children to support, and more than anything else, unrelenting shame.  As a Christian, how could this happen?  This was something she vowed never to allow. How could she face her friends, her church, her parents, her life?  This was just something that does not happen to good people and most of all, Christians. How could she continue and where would she go from here?! The rug had been pulled out from underneath her. 

See this mom had unrealistic expectations. She expected her decision to stay married and love for life to prevail, not realizing that others may not keep promises. This young mom desired to have a perfect family. Well by all means it was her goal in life!!  It was her goal to get married, love her husband and children and live happily ever after.  Well, it worked for Cinderella right?!  All we need is love, right? Just love and snuggle and be happy, all will be well.  No arguing, no fighting, all is calm.  If no arguments, then all must be grand, right?! No disagreements, well, even no communication. No discussion or expression of feelings between spouses in order to even have a disagreement. She slowly began to realize this may not have been as happy or wonderful as she had been disillusioned to believe. Now she wondered if she would ever find love again? Who would want to love her with a past? She felt no hope. 

As time passed, this young mom was blessed with a job right across the street from her home, two of her children were in school now and her youngest was watched by a wonderful lady from church at no cost. God showed his provision and His care in many ways. Sometimes there were bags of groceries on the front porch left for her little family.   God was providing and bringing healing, however, there was one item still bothering this mom.  Shame. This would be with her for always and she did not think she could handle it.  She felt deeply the shame of being divorced and what made it worse was there was no way around it and it seemed like no hope of ever escaping it.  This is not what she wanted and how could any good come of this? 

In her prayer time and with a dear friend/mentor that God brought in her life over the next few years, she began to see God’s hand in this more than she ever thought.  At times she felt abandoned by Him as well.  God began to speak to her in quiet moments.  She would cry about not having the family life she wanted and feeling way too busy and tired to enjoy her children.  The Lord spoke to her about wanting the ‘perfect family’ over wanting Him. He spoke about how life is not about being comfortable or having a perfect family,  but about being shaped into His image, getting to know Jesus so well that she becomes like Him in love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, etc.  He would often say to her that He can speak and work in her life, when she is broken.  

This young women was me and I began to embrace change.  God reminded me of the story in which Abraham was called to sacrifice Issac.  I laid down my expectations and hopes in a perfect family and began to hope in God.  I also laid down the shame.  I actually learned to embrace the brokenness in my life, since God told me He was going to use it for good.  He reminded me to have humility and comforted me in the hard times.  He showed me his love by some verses such as, “Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; But you will forget the shame of your youth, And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. 5"For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth” from Isaiah 54:4.  As I embraced humility and found my joy in God, He was closer than I ever thought possible.  Also, Psalm 25:3, “Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be ashamed.” “Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours”, from Isaiah 61:7.  The days I chose to wait on the Lord and listen to Him I found such amazing joy and peace.  I learned my goal was to please the Lord, not those around me. I also found out that God favored me and found no flaw in me.  If I could make those words jump out of the page at you I would!!  Listen to that!!  He has FAVOR for YOU!  AND THERE IS NO FLAW IN YOU!! 

Now this is my story, your story may be different. In my situation, I was abandoned, but you may have been the one abandoning in your relationship.  If so, you may feel convicted and if that is the case, ask the Lord to show you where you may have been wrong, then repent, ask forgiveness and come back under His umbrella of protection. There are always two sides of every story and 2 people in a relationship it was not perfect from either side, such as mine.  The Scripture teaches not to divorce in the first place and everything that can be done should be done to try to keep it together.  However, in cases of immorality, the divorce is allowed by Scripture.  There are more topics on this and many books on the subject, feel free to read this book or others like it.

Here are some more verses to really think about and let become a part of you:

"Blessed is the man who listens to me, Watching daily at my gates, Waiting at my doorposts. 35"For he who finds me finds life And obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 8:34-35

Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. 4So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man. 5Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.…Proverbs 3:4-6

1Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, But he who hates reproof is stupid. 2A good man will obtain favor from the LORD, But He will condemn a man who devises evil. Proverbs 12-1-2

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Song of Solomon 4:7

  

As the years went by, I learned to embrace God, embrace change and embrace my children in a new way. I learned to trust God in a way I never had before.  I learned to hold onto my life and my kids with open hands, knowing that God knew what He was doing and was bigger and stronger than I to take care of them.  I grew to love my story.  I grew to embrace the story of brokenness and not be ashamed of my past.  My past is a part of me and it does not determine my worth.  We can feel tainted sometimes in our Christian circles, if we have experienced a divorce, but God says there is no flaw in you.  No flaw!!  You are His and He is yours.  He loves you with an everlasting love and His love endures forever.  Rest in His love for you today. 

I see you, single moms

Recently reading 'The Beauty of Broken' by Elisa Morgan, I realized I have much to say. Well, let me say I was 'reminded' I have much to say.  I feel as if God has been after me for a while to write to single moms.  I see you around me everyday.  I run into you at the store, at work, or in my own home. I see you as I teach your child at school, I see you at church, I see you as I walk down the street and I am moved.  I am moved deeply. I know your pain.  Often when I see you, there is not enough time to share my heart.  So here is the 'go to' place.  I have a lot to say and it will take a while, so I am going to start a blog at a time.

So, my kids were about 5, 9 and 11 and a dear friend was giving me my 'once a month indulge me because I do nothing for myself' massage in my home, of which I only had about 3-maybe in the whole 10 years. Anyways, as a single mom who has time for a massage right?!  My friend said something in passing that made me curious about the way others viewed me.  She said 'you seem to have it all together'.  At the time, I was like, 'what?!!'  I sure don't feel like I have it all together and what does 'having it all together' even look like?  I was a single mom working 2-3 jobs at a time, barely there for my kids and running all the time playing catchup. Its interesting how others may view us, isn't it?

Well I was trying to do 'it' right. I was trying to raise my kids to know God and see his faithfulness. I was teaching them and talking with them about God, but also falling down by snapping at them from time to time. I was not doing it right by working too much and spending too much time away. I was not doing it right by trusting in myself and not in God a lot of times.

Spiritual: My first encouragement, as you are probably trying to figure out what you are doing to bring income into your home is, trust God. Wait on Him and listen to Him.  Don't fret. If there is one thing that will always take you down the wrong road, it is fretting.  Fretting is worrying and worry is fear. He says, "So do not worry saying 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For pagans run after these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:31-34  So trust Him.  You may not know the answer, but trust Him first. Then the answer will come. Give Him time to show you He is true, He is provider for you. He is your husband.  Wait on Him for your need.

Practical: If you are working more than one job, pray about it. Figure out how much time you actually have with your child or children and if it is really worth it.  Be creative. Get some cost cutting books from the library and see where you could cut back on your budget.  Make a budget if you don't have one.  You do not 'have' to have everything you want! Be very realistic about what you need and cut out the rest. It won't be forever, but investing in your kids is far more important than a certain home or rental, eating at restaurants, buying a new car, making a 'great' Christmas with lots of toys, etc.  Just imagine what God could show your kids about His character if you waited on Him for what you needed. They would learn His faithfulness and how He provides for his children. Also, you are not entitled to have things a certain way.  There is no entitlement here.  I once thought I was entitled to have those things we all want, a marriage that was amazing, a home that was big and grand, a new car, a beautiful yard and I was somehow a failure if I did not have those things by a certain age.  A lie. One big, fat lie.  You are to be obedient to the Lord and submit to His will, which is to not worry, He sees you.  A few other practical examples of saving money: have a roommate or two, find a cheaper place to stay, cut out cable and internet, make a meal plan with cheap meals on it (mac'n cheese, spaghetti, tacos, soup) and don't buy other stuff when you are at the store!, any of those things you 'always wanted' when you had kids--don't buy them. Wait on God to provide just those things you need and maybe a few surprises!!

Quick glance at God's husbandry:  He gave me a beautiful blue and silver coffee travel mug.  I was wanting a travel mug, I had not said a word to anyone about it. I had not even prayed about it and the next day, there it was.  It was given to me. He will bless you too.  Trust Him.

Words 2.12.2013

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." ~Proverbs 12:18

Its amazing what can happen when we are not careful with our words.  When talking with someone take a breath before answering and in that breath pray for a humble spirit and a loving voice.  Take that time to decide how to respond instead of react.  Our words reveal our character and what is going on in our hearts.  Take time to respond instead of react.  Your words could hurt or bring healing. Which will yours bring?

The impossible

Nehemiah is a book about the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem after the exiles had returned.  The city went a while without being rebuilt and when Nehemiah decided to rebuild it there was opposition on every side. However the impossible was in fact possible.  It took time, determination and perseverance trusting in God to make the way.

This inspired our class to discuss all the impossible things in our own lives that we would love to see happen either in our present lives or the future.  Some talked of careers and others...homework, but seriously there was good discussion and thought about future dreams etc.  I talked with the class about a 24 year old named Katie Davis with Amazima Ministries, Click here.  It is amazing to discuss the faith and adventure in a young lady that is just like these students but a few years older living in Uganda with 13 adopted daughters and running a ministry that is supporting over 1200 children and families a week.

The students were inspired and felt called to help Katie and the kids in Uganda too!  They are now bringing in their loose change to collect in a jar for Amazima. They are trying to bring in $25 a month as it is a way to help on the website.  It says $25 a month will help provide over 600 children with education, food, school supplies, and discipleship.

 I am so proud of these students and looking forward to helping Katie's kids!  If you get a chance read  her book, Kisses from Katie.

Eye is the lamp

²² “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,^[c] your whole body will be full of light. ²³ But if your eyes are unhealthy,^[d] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

~ Matthew 6:22-23

We must be careful what we look at!  What you let in through your eyes becomes something you think about...consider if it is something that honors God.  Not only is this verse talking about what you look at, it is also talking about what you set your mind on....is it something that honors God?  Are  you thinking selfishly or selflessly? Are you considering others and what they would like or need? 

Consider others better than yourselves. Ask The Lord to be light in you today and set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.  All the things around us are going to pass away, the tv shows, the football games, the cool clothes, the next best iPhone or iPod,etc.  Let go of them, don't focus on those things that will pass away...focus today on your friendships and those relationships that will not pass away! See what you can do today to honor God with your eyes so your whole body can be full of light!

Perseverance

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.  ~ James 1:1-7

1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we^a have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we^b rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we^c also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  ~ Romans 5:1:1-4

I teach my students to interpret scripture by scripture and as I was reading I noticed these two sections of scripture are very similar.  They both basically say the same thing about trials/suffering and perseverance. James says trials test your faith and can produce perseverance and Paul said in his letter to the Romans that suffering produces perseverance.  Actually James explains the trial or suffering in you is a testing of your faith which produces perseverance.

So what's perseverance and why is it important to me? Well dictionary.com defines perseverance as a steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state,etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.  It is important that we steadily persist in a certain course of action especially when the course of action is following Christ.  This reminds me of the scripture, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do."~ Galatians 6:9.  May we not become weary and keep persevering.

There was a time in my life when I was working 3 jobs and raising three children as a single mom each evening and there was much weariness in my life.   It was a very difficult time and I remember collapsing on the couch one evening exhausted physically, emotionally and spiritually and laying my 10 year old daughters hands on my shoulder asking her to pray for mommy as she was very tired.  There was a strength that came over me as she prayed.  I thank The Lord for that prayer and was able to continue with joy. I also made some changes with my jobs soon after which was also an answer to prayer. 

As we see in the scriptures above perseverance has a purpose, it's not just going on for nothing.  James said you will be mature and complete, not lacking anything and Paul says you will produce character and character, hope. So we can be sure character is involved with being mature and there is hope in our lives because of Christ. He does not disappoint. 

James also says God will also give wisdom to those who ask which also brings character, however this is also something that takes faith. As you see he says if you doubt when you ask, you are like a wave blown and tossed by the wind. Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do to see (Hebrews11:1).  Growing in character takes a testing of your faith.  Are you going to trust The Lord for maturity and character as you persevere in hope?  Rest in Him knowing that He loves you and knows what you need before you even ask Him. Rest knowing He wants you to persevere in Him. 

Spirit Upon You

11/9/2012

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

~Isaiah 61:1-3

Let us remember that if we have accepted God's gift of life we have also accepted the Holy Spirit into our lives.  If and when we walk in the Spirit, we also preach Christ with our lives.  

No matter where you are in life, chances are the person or people you come in contact with today only share one thing with you, that is they have troubles too.  However, their troubles may be very different than yours.  Everyone has a story and a past that they have come from and that has shaped them in many ways.  Use your time with that person to ask the Lord how to 'preach' to them.  As Isaiah was prophecying to Judah calling them back to God when they strayed, reminding them of where their hope came from, He told them they are to preach good news to the poor.  I see this 'poor' term more to describe a person that is going through trials without Jesus.  

Remember you are free in the Lord as you have accepted his gift and not only free, but called to 'preach' to others this good news.  As you walk in the Spirit, ask the Lord how you can help bind up the broken hearted, proclaim freedom for the captives and release from prison for the prisoners today. People today may not be in an actual prison, but in a 'thought' prison.  They may be believing lies about themselves such as, 'I will never measure up', 'I can never get things right' or 'there is no hope' and God can send you into their lives today to help them see the truth.  The truth about themselves in Christ, such as 'God's grace covers all' and 'there is a Source of true hope and He is available to you.'

Also telling them He wants to comfort those who mourn and give them praise instead of despair.  How many of us need comforting?  Many of us have some kind of loss we may have experienced in which comforting is needed.  There could be a loss of a job, a parent, a child, a dream, or loss of innocense through an act of terror.  May God comfort others through you today.

And most importantly, that He wants to display His splendor through them and through us.  In telling others about Jesus' hope and comfort, the Lord's splendor is revealed. In accepting His hope and comfort, and rejoicing in  praise because of His truth, His splendor is revealed. Be comforted today. Have hope today. Rejoice today. Give comfort today. Give hope today. Give joy today.