Sunday, January 5, 2014

I see you, single moms

Recently reading 'The Beauty of Broken' by Elisa Morgan, I realized I have much to say. Well, let me say I was 'reminded' I have much to say.  I feel as if God has been after me for a while to write to single moms.  I see you around me everyday.  I run into you at the store, at work, or in my own home. I see you as I teach your child at school, I see you at church, I see you as I walk down the street and I am moved.  I am moved deeply. I know your pain.  Often when I see you, there is not enough time to share my heart.  So here is the 'go to' place.  I have a lot to say and it will take a while, so I am going to start a blog at a time.

So, my kids were about 5, 9 and 11 and a dear friend was giving me my 'once a month indulge me because I do nothing for myself' massage in my home, of which I only had about 3-maybe in the whole 10 years. Anyways, as a single mom who has time for a massage right?!  My friend said something in passing that made me curious about the way others viewed me.  She said 'you seem to have it all together'.  At the time, I was like, 'what?!!'  I sure don't feel like I have it all together and what does 'having it all together' even look like?  I was a single mom working 2-3 jobs at a time, barely there for my kids and running all the time playing catchup. Its interesting how others may view us, isn't it?

Well I was trying to do 'it' right. I was trying to raise my kids to know God and see his faithfulness. I was teaching them and talking with them about God, but also falling down by snapping at them from time to time. I was not doing it right by working too much and spending too much time away. I was not doing it right by trusting in myself and not in God a lot of times.

Spiritual: My first encouragement, as you are probably trying to figure out what you are doing to bring income into your home is, trust God. Wait on Him and listen to Him.  Don't fret. If there is one thing that will always take you down the wrong road, it is fretting.  Fretting is worrying and worry is fear. He says, "So do not worry saying 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For pagans run after these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:31-34  So trust Him.  You may not know the answer, but trust Him first. Then the answer will come. Give Him time to show you He is true, He is provider for you. He is your husband.  Wait on Him for your need.

Practical: If you are working more than one job, pray about it. Figure out how much time you actually have with your child or children and if it is really worth it.  Be creative. Get some cost cutting books from the library and see where you could cut back on your budget.  Make a budget if you don't have one.  You do not 'have' to have everything you want! Be very realistic about what you need and cut out the rest. It won't be forever, but investing in your kids is far more important than a certain home or rental, eating at restaurants, buying a new car, making a 'great' Christmas with lots of toys, etc.  Just imagine what God could show your kids about His character if you waited on Him for what you needed. They would learn His faithfulness and how He provides for his children. Also, you are not entitled to have things a certain way.  There is no entitlement here.  I once thought I was entitled to have those things we all want, a marriage that was amazing, a home that was big and grand, a new car, a beautiful yard and I was somehow a failure if I did not have those things by a certain age.  A lie. One big, fat lie.  You are to be obedient to the Lord and submit to His will, which is to not worry, He sees you.  A few other practical examples of saving money: have a roommate or two, find a cheaper place to stay, cut out cable and internet, make a meal plan with cheap meals on it (mac'n cheese, spaghetti, tacos, soup) and don't buy other stuff when you are at the store!, any of those things you 'always wanted' when you had kids--don't buy them. Wait on God to provide just those things you need and maybe a few surprises!!

Quick glance at God's husbandry:  He gave me a beautiful blue and silver coffee travel mug.  I was wanting a travel mug, I had not said a word to anyone about it. I had not even prayed about it and the next day, there it was.  It was given to me. He will bless you too.  Trust Him.

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